Props & Disses 1/25/12

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

By Jake Nichols

Dog ban is horse hockey     DISS
Teton County School District No. 1 hates dogs. Is there any other way to interpret the barring of dogs from school grounds?

The athletic fields – softball, football, and soccer fields near the school bus depot – have become a not-so-secret hotspot for a dog walk or a game of fetch. The area also features a pathway where people like to take their dogs and a groomed Nordic and skate ski track where it is popular to exercise a dog. All of these areas are now off-limits to the canine persuasion because the school took the easy way out.

Look, dogs aren’t to blame but they are the only ones that will suffer for this. Guns don’t kill people; people kill people. There are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners. Plastic bags aren’t evil, only the people who use them. Here is yet another shining example of an institution missing the point and assessing blame not on the action but on an innocent accomplice. It’s no different than a DUI suspect blaming his wreck on bald tires or bad frontend alignment.

First, let’s get straight what the issue is. Andy Weenig, a paraprofessional at Davey Jackson Elementary School, claimed he and his students were frightened by dogs running loose on school grounds. He admitted there had been no attacks or physical altercations but said his “enjoyment has been compromised.” My enjoyment is compromised every time I hear a little rugrat ball his head off on an airplane or at a movie but I have never suggested they be barred from air travel or theatres (though I wouldn’t, as a matter of course, vote against such a proposal).
Weenig goes on to state that another concern is that despite repeated cautioning, kids keep eating the yellow snow.

Now we’re getting to the heart of the matter: children are dumber than dogs. Dogs, while they eat a lot of disgusting things, manage to avoid their own pee for the most part. If your youngster is gobbling down animal waste maybe it’s time to have a talk with Junior. No, not the birds-and-the-bees talk, but the one where you play them a certain Frank Zappa song and explain what an ‘Eskimo pie’ really is.

The solution is simple. If this is the school district’s answer to the problem then I propose PAWS institute a ban on kids from Sophie’s Place dog park. They might chew the bark off all the trees.

Lionizing the danger… really?      DISS
News last week that a mountain lion was spotted in the Cache Creek trailhead with two kittens was delivered with needless scare mongering by two different media sources. Both the Jackson Hole Daily and Jackson Hole Radio reported the sighting but couldn’t resist a cat caveat on best methods of fending off an attack.
A lion attack? Really?

Richard Anderson, writing for the Daily, was obviously just trying to fill copy by providing the paragraph that began, “While mountain lion attacks on people are quite rare …”

How rare? Statistically speaking, a hunk of Russian space junk is more likely to land on a yurt in Kelly tomorrow at 9:42 a.m. than will a person be pounced upon by a big cat in his or her lifetime. It’s about as likely as Tim Tebow giving the finger to the Pope or dating Lindsay Lohan. Don’t hold your breath.

The radio story was worse. “Beware of the lion,” was the headline. The piece went on to state that mauling victims should “fight back aggressively,” if attacked.
Why can’t we view wildlife with awe, reverence, and respect? Don’t we live here expressly for the chance of seeing a lion in the wild? When we spy a wolf in the backyard, is our first instinct to gather up the Shiatsu and call for the shotgun? Stop spreading the fear and learn to live with these magnificent creatures.

Hospital head shows character     PROP
While he has probably already received more ink and attention than he would like, John Kren should get a little encouragement too. The acting CEO of St. John’s Medical Center had his name smattered in newspaper headlines after he was charged with DUI following a one-car accident on January 13. At first blush, a ‘diss’ might be in order and readers could chalk this up to yet another episode in the saga the local hospital has become.
Don’t rush to judgment.

Kren, 45, did something most politicians could learn from. He owned up to his actions, issuing a brutally honest statement: “I am distressed and embarrassed that I was involved in a single-car accident on Jan. 13 and have been charged with driving under the influence of alcohol. I’m terribly sorry that this happened. This has never happened before in my life, and I will work diligently each and every day to make sure it never happens again.”

Perfectly stated. Any rehabilitation professional will attest the first step is simply coming to an acknowledgment of a problem. Kren doesn’t dance around the situation; he shares what he is feeling, he takes ownership, and promises to do better in the future.

Kudos to St. John’s, too, for standing behind their employee.
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Props & Disses 1/25/12 | Planet JH News Article: General News

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