Signs of the times

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

By Jake Nichols

Jackson Hole, Wyo.-The city is poised to drop $300,000 or so on welcome signs at each gateway entrance to Jackson. The hope is that the greeting markers will be so majestic they will catch a motorist’s eye long enough that they might miss any hideous resort developments that say: “Welcome to Jackson. Populatio ..: well, that depends whether the census is taken in those two weeks of July when third-home owners are in town buying art or in April when the signs are changed to ‘Welcome to Jackson. Population: Moab.’”

The wayfaring and welcome signs were approved during high times when Teton County seemed impervious to the sluggish economy bedraggling the real world. But what if we built it and they DIDN’T come? The town’s Rachel Fuller explained the high finance part of paying for the signs, asking for an immediate $75,000 down payment out of “Street Funds,” leaving $230,000 to pay out of “Capital Funds,” after a $22,000 grant. “And the difference will buy us some additional historical signs,” Fuller added, completely confusing Bob Lenz with the twisted math.

“I don’t understand any of this,” Lenz said, rubbing his forehead. “I would have to abstain from any vote.”

The rest of the Council hastily agreed, perhaps worried how it would look, during these hard times, dropping three large on signs that will help tourist traffic flow reach an ATM. The matter was tabled until the council could vote in front of a room less full of out-of-work real estate agents.

America’s Most Wanted
While America’s Most Needed may or may not arrive in their RVs this summer, “America’s Most Wanted” will be here Feb. 17-18. And they won’t need any stinking signs to find their way around. In fact, about the only thing the Fox Network’s crime show can’t solve is the mysterious case of Benjamin Bradley.

Bradley is the Jackson snowboarder who was thumbing his way back home from Colorado to celebrate his 29th birthday. He never arrived. His body was found in the Red Desert sans the unique Never Summer splitboard he was carrying.
Watch for series host John Walsh on the Town Square. He will be doing on-camera wrap-arounds for the backstory. The City of Jackson deemed the event in alignment with council’s strategic intent because “[t]he nationally televised show will showcase Jackson Hole.”

Really? Hold those signs then. Late change. “Welcome to Jackson Hole – We’re glad you made it here alive.”

Slippery slope
When we last left the sketch plan for Jeff Heider’s PUD development at the intersection of Highway 22 and Broadway, the proposal was speed-bumped by a concern over traffic nightmares at the Y intersection. Council also worried about the size and bulk of the project as well as the Bischoff oil tanks currently onsite that were altered in the sketch plan to appear as a nice grassy playground for the kids. Problem: Heider doesn’t own that portion of the property yet, and the oil drums aren’t going anywhere soon.

Jorgensen Associates whiz kid Reid Armijo had altered the project significantly, but still the same constants that meet every development reared up: Neighbors cried NIMBY, Armond Acri called WYDOT’s traffic analysis lame, and Lenz hated the tunnel – to which Armijo said, “I don’t feel like calling it a tunnel. It’s just high vertical walls with a cap.”

The council sent Armijo and Heider back to the drawing board again after Armijo admitted he could make a beautiful development out of a scarred hillside, but he didn’t know how to get his “Sims” safely to a gallon of milk at Albies or a pint of beer at Cutty’s.

The project was continued to March 2. PJH
PERMALINK:
Signs of the times | Planet JH News Article: Council Chronicles

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