Cars, and stuff related to cars

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

By Jake Nichols

File under irony
Jackson Hole, Wyo.-When the City of Jackson built its four-level parking garage they purposely left open space to the south to be used later for something. Time now for something, and nobody can agree on anything. After PAWS backed out with plans for a dog park, the Council pondered the idea of bidding out an affordable housing project there. People always need somewhere to live in this town. But those people, if they’re not Brian Schilling, almost always have cars or trucks. And this somehow worried the Council.

The problem with the idea of affordable housing, butted up against the world’s emptiest public parking facility, would be parking the project, thought the electeds. Then this actually came out of Bob McLaurin’s mouth: “Well, we don’t want them parking in the parking garage.”

How ‘bout a ‘pocket park?’ asked Bob Lenz. “It doesn’t require any parking at all. There is nothing wrong with having some green space. When Jay Varley finishes with his project there won’t be any green left at all.”
Yes, Jay Varley was in the room.

Green space costs greenbacks, McLaurin explained when Melissa Turley said if not a park, which could cost $40,000, why not just seed the dirt?
“Irrigation is the biggest expense with grass,” McLaurin said, thinking of the Town racking up enormous water bills to keep the dust off the garage exit ramp.
“Maybe the Center for the Arts will come in and use it to mitigate their employee needs,” hoped Mark Obringer.

Stuck somewhere between a park, flex space, and affordable housing, the Council decided to move on to something easier than deciding how to fill every space of canvas with color.

Auto industry bailout
Now that he has all those obsolete Chryslers off his lot, Teton Motors owner Dave Auge wants to build stuff. Auge has designs to construct a sleek new automotive sales center at his current location.

The DRC was concerned the structure would not match the existing one until Auge’s rep, Tim, explained that was done on purpose. “There is the Subaru end of things that have certain icons and a style they want to see. We are trying to make everyone happy,” he said.

Whatever Auge wants, he gets, under the threat of satire.
“Mr. Mayor, if you approve this, I think you should stipulate it so that it prohibits Dave from making fun of us at next year’s Follies,” McLaurin cracked. Auge is the primary wit behind the Kiwanis Follies.
Auge said he couldn’t promise anything but politely thanked everyone for his new showroom on the way out.

Fat bottom suits
Brian Schilling thanked the Council for putting their money where their mouths and butts were.

The Friends of Pathways dude said he was proud of the Council for biking to their three o’clock meeting that afternoon. He calculated that 85 percent of the electeds rode their bike there; all, presumably, but Obringer who couldn’t figure out where to pump the diesel into his.

In other business
The Council finished up a memo of understanding with the JH Airport that will mean the City of Jackson will be providing three dedicated law enforcement officers to police the airport for $250,000 annually. No one mentioned it might be cheaper to simply buy Jedediah’s new silverware whenever it gets boosted.

“Why do we send [applicants] to DRC first?” McLaurin asked anyone. “At my previous job we sent them to Planning first to take care of bulk and scale.” Everyone liked this idea and Mayor Barron promised to workshop it and generally move with the lightning speed of government by the time something is stuffed into the open air next to the parking garage. PJH
PERMALINK:
Cars, and stuff related to cars | Planet JH News Article: Council Chronicles

Leave a Comment