Redneck Perspective: Channalization of energetic realms for physicalistic dualist juxtapositions
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
By Clyde Thornhill
You see them at Shades: pretty girls
wearing short skirts and glasses, sipping
espresso and taking notes while reading
thick books with lots of big words. The
glasses indicate intellectualism, a hunger
for pleasures of the mind as opposed to
the body. They symbolize control of emotion,
logic over sensation. But the short
skirt shows longing of a different kind.
It's as if the woman is possessed by a
secret desire, a desire she hungers for
and fears at the same time.
"I wasn't even sure what
physics was..."
When classes are adjourned, books
returned to their shelves, night blends reality
with myth. The intellectual woman tosses
in her sleep and dreams of things reason
forbids: mist rising from the Aegean
sea, fertile plains heavy with barley. She is
standing barefoot on the Earth, hungry for
warmth and seed; she is walking through
vineyards and olive groves, hips swaying,
breasts open to the sky, unashamed of her
glory, ready, like Aphrodite, to rise like
tides toward the moon. When she wakes,
in the moment before consciousness robs
her of desire, she tries to li
nger, to merge,
if for only a moment longer, with things
primitive, with heat and fire, and she craves
total surrender.
With those thoughts in mind I attended
a lecture on physics at the Teton
Library. I knew the female intellectual
crowd from Shades would be there.
How tragic their life of textbook and
slide rule! Tonight, I thought, at least
one of them would learn to breathe in
the sweet air of passion and be tutored
in things of a less cerebral nature.
I knew that for lust to triumph over
reason I would have to fake interested
in the lecture. I wasn't even sure what
physics was. The lecturer, some college
professor from back east, took
simple everyday knowledge and made
it sound complex. He claimed space
and time are relative. Duh. Have you
ever heard a woman tell you she will be
ready in 10 minutes? Her 10 minutes
and the clock's 10 minutes are relative
to the time it takes to apply makeup
and decide which pants don't make her
look fat. And of course Lill (my on and
off girlfriend) has yet to comprehend
how long it takes to play the final four
minutes of a football game. As for distance,
I've known some truck drivers
that think close is $500 damage.
Then the professor got excited about a
mathematical formula called "e=mc
squared." It didn't sound any different
than the old formula "the bigger they are
the harder they fall." Finally he began to
rant about the uncertainly principle. He
claimed, that on the microscopic realm,
nothing could be known for sure.
Microscopic realm? What about the "trying
to pick up a chick" realm? I mean,
you can buy dinner and drinks and still
not be sure if you will spend the night
with her. (Unless she is from Salt Lake.)
He also claimed the microscopic realm
exists in a violent frenzy of unpredictable
actions and reactions. I wonder when
was the last time this guy read about current
events in a newspaper?
When the lecture ended, a pretty
woman with glasses and a short skirt
stopped by the snack table for a cup of
herb tea. "Fascinating lecture don't you
think?" she asked.
I decided to use the line I saved when
the subject matter went beyond NASCAR
or elk hunting. "It was interesting," I
replied. "However my area of study is cultural
anthropology." (I chose cultural
anthropology because no one really
knows what it is.)
"Really," she answered impressed. (They
are always impressed when they've never
heard of your area of study.) "Any recent
breakthroughs in cultural anthropology?"
"As a matter of fact, I just returned from
Papua New Guinea after six months of
studying the sexual customs of the indigenous
inhabitants. I must say it was fascinating.
But some of the practices were
quite, quite erotic," I said, as if too selfconscious
to continue.
She took a deep breath and held it
while her logic struggled with her passion.
I have seen these internal battles
before and I waited patiently for the outcome.
"I would love to hear about sexual
cust Š er, I mean your trip. Would you like
to come over to my place for a cup of tea
and tell me about it?"
Anything to further the spread of
knowledge," I replied.
- editor@planetjh.com
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Redneck Perspective: Channalization of energetic realms for physicalistic dualist juxtapositions | Planet JH News Article: General Worm Hole
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