Dinner & dancing

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

By Galloping Grandma

If I ever murder my husband - and I’ve thought about it - I will probably be behind him in a buffet line. He is one of those folks who carefully plates their food like someone on the Food Channel. Everything is looked at, thought about and carefully arranged. And heaven forbid if the ketchup is the wrong brand or the mustard is the wrong color. By the time he finally reaches the end, the line behind us is getting restless and ugly, the ice sculptures are melting and the guys on the meat cutting station are out having a cigarette. He should be careful when I’m behind him armed with a knife and fork.

I brought this up because the Corn Cob Senior Center is having their annual Valentine Buffet and Dance. They are renting a steam table from the Elk’s Club and they will be serving a steam table kind of dinner: odd looking meat hidden by gravy, mashed potatoes, several kinds of mushy vegetables, maybe a red Jell-O salad and for dessert, a small piece of white cake with pink frosting and those little candy hearts that say things like, “Oh, you kid” and “Be mine.”

Of course, there will be entertainment. Last year they had the kitchen band from the Lutheran Acres Activity Center. In case you have never seen a kitchen band, this is a group of old ladies wearing fancy aprons and funny hats and playing kitchen utensils to a kazoo accompaniment. They are in great demand and always a hit. In past years, there was a dance routine by Toe Tapping Grannies from Silo City, but this year their lead dancer has a bunion and can’t perform.

As if this wasn’t enough, there will be dancing, too - to Milo Mitchell’s Over 65 Swing Band. It is a good thing that the dance will be on Thursday night this year, because Milo’s 85 year-old mother plays the drums and Thursday is the only night she doesn’t play bingo.

I read on the Internet that some woman ran into some cows and one landed in her back seat. It didn’t do much for the back seat, but the cow was OK. It reminded me of the time that Marlys Mudge used to deliver Meals On Wheels to Grandpa Oscarson out on the farm. This time she had a backseat full of foil-wrapped meat loaf, potatoes, an extra half sandwich and a cookie. She ran in to see Grandpa and left the car door open. When she came back Fred and Fiona were in the back seat.

Fred was a black lab and he had unwrapped all the food and was snarfing away on meatloaf and cookies and there was foil everywhere. Fiona was the family cow, and she had wedged herself in the backseat. She didn’t care for the food but she had a piece of foil on her nose. When Marlys got back to the senior center she told everyone she had a cow in her back seat, but they thought she was referring to her mother-in-law, Old Lady Mudge.

Anyway, have a nice Valentine’s Day. After next week, Walmart will probably start putting out the Christmas decorations, so enjoy it while you can.
PERMALINK:
Dinner & dancing | Planet JH News Article: Galloping Grandma

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