Ask a Mexican 3/26/08

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I’m a gay man in his mid-30s that has always loved Mexican men.  And this question is not only from my experience, but also that of friends: Why is it that Mexican men are so flaky? They seem the top offending ethnicity in this.

And, by flaky, I mean not returning calls, giving out their number but never answering or returning voicemails, canceling for lame reasons after initially being very interested, etc. (I’d like to know what they do with all this free time from NOT going out on dates). Just seems like it’s their nature and/or cultura to only be interested in what’s in front of them at the moment. What is your take on this?
- Queer and Questioning

Dear Joto: You and everyone else who writes in with their romantic conundrums involving Mexicans should always ask themselves before consulting the Mexican: is it me? Ladies: when hombres wolf-whistle at you, can it possibly be because you’re beautiful and not because Mexicans are inherently lecherous? Same with you, Queer: maybe your flaky Mexican papi chulos just don’t think you’re their cup of horchata and are too kind to tell you in person. That said, Mexican men are the least flaky men on Earth. Think about it: Aztec prophecy claimed their descendants would reclaim ancestral lands in the southwest United States - and guess what?

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION ALERT! And with this, the Mexican formally bids adios, effective the feast day of St. Melito. It’s been a great run, cabrones, but all the hateful e-mail, all the attacks by PC pendejos and the fact that few of you have bothered to submit video questions to my YouTube channel wear on a guy, you know? Besides, like Mr. Dooley, Olle I Skratthult, and The Katzenjammer Kids before me, this column’s time has come: it’s no longer necessary to explain Mexicans to Americans because Mexicans are Americans.

Gracias for all the fights, the propositions of sexy time explosion, and the slugged-back tequila shots after book signings, but there’s a little ranchito in Zacatecas waiting for me and a barefoot muchacha ready to cook dinner. Vaya con Dios, America, and always remember: order the enchilada-and-taco combo TO GO.

Send your farewell wishes to the Mexican at www.youtube.com/askamexicano sace.com/ocwab, and themexican@askamexican.net!
PERMALINK:
Ask a Mexican 3/26/08 | Planet JH News Article: Ask A Mexican

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