Rainbow Family relents, freaky shindig relocated to Kelly

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

By PJH Staff

JACKSON HOLE, WYO. – After increased pressure from forest officials, the Rainbow Family has conceded and announced they will move their upcoming gathering. The assembly was to have taken place in the Big Sandy Recreational Area against the wishes of Bridger-Teton National Forest policymakers, who feared the impact of the massive group – expected to exceed 15,000 – would damage sensitive soils in the Big Sandy.
As of press time, the Rainbow Family said meditation has told them the new location for their gathering should be Kelly, Wyo.

“Perfect,” said BTNF spokesperson Married Concernicheck. “They won’t even be noticed there.”

A Rainbow spokesman known only as “Toenail” said the group of earth-worshippers agreed to relocate only after BTNF rangers installed extra porta-showers at the site.
“Our commitment to the great Mother Planet requires that we bathe infrequently so that the chemical reaction in the atmosphere cannot pervade any … reasoning being that … what was the question?”

A less-baked representative of the Family said the real concern was the alleged double-booking that showed a permit issued to the Michigan State Turkey Hunting Club for an adjoining area of the Big Sandy. According to their website, www.redneckswithguns.com, the college group has already left the Midwest for Wyoming after stopping for beer and bullets in Kalamazoo.

“We do not condone the use of firearms,” said a Family ‘brother’ who wished to be referred to as “Babbling Brook.” “We find weapons and soap are not in harmony with our world.”

“Geezus and Moses, did they reek,” remembered Hank Clayton. Clayton ranches near the Big Muddy Recreational Area in southeast Wyoming. “This area used to be called ‘Sparkling Stream’ before they camped here. I mean, you could walk across the patchouli film on the top of the lake for days after they left.”

Lisa Broward, Executive Director for the Historical Incorporation of Preservation and Planning an Insidious Environment (HIPPIE), said she didn’t see what the fuss was all about. “I was at their 2002 ‘Spiritual Sparking in Steamboat,’ and it was one of the most moving experiences of my life,” she said. Records show Broward was ‘moved’ into intensive care at Steamboat Springs General Hospital after consuming four pounds of morel mushrooms during the drum circle ceremony.
PERMALINK:
Rainbow Family relents, freaky shindig relocated to Kelly | Planet JH News Article: Flipside

Leave a Comment