A Redneck Perspective: New Age Spirit Guide

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

By Clyde Thornhill

Susie asked me to join her at the Kindred Spirit Retreat, sponsored by the RiverWind Foundation and the Murie Center.

“I’d love to,’ I told her. “But I was going to wash my truck that weekend.”
“Too bad,” she said. “There is going to be a sweat lodge and almost all the participants are women.”

“On the other hand,” I said. “Seeking kindred spirits is important in my journey on the sacred path to enlightenment.”    

The first speaker at the Kindred Spirit Retreat was a blondish-green haired woman with goddess tattoos and a necklace made with sacred healing chakra crystals. Her name was “Moonrise.”

Moonrise said all humans have a special animal spirit guide. I said, “I love good Southern ham, sausage and bacon. I believe hogs are my animal spirit guide.” Tragically, I was informed that we didn’t eat our spirit guides, but rather learned from their characteristics and physical habits. I thought for a minute. “How about rabbits?”

The next speaker, Xochiquetzal, was introduced as a reiki master, a touch practitioner, and teacher of sacred space. She wore a skirt that had one of those slits up the side I always find so intriguing. I told her I am an expert touch practitioner of sacred space myself.

Xochiquetzal told us that everything has vibratory frequencies called sacred energy. This includes trees, rocks and minerals, but not buildings, railroads or anything made by man.

Xochiquetzal passed out drums to everyone and told us we could beat them to help bring about world peace, internal healing, as well as environmental awareness. I’d always wanted to be a drummer and believed I had missed my true calling as a rock star-sex symbol. I pounded my drum and began singing (or chanting as it’s referred to in new age circles), my favorite Elvis tune, “You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog”. 

Suddenly, an argument arose when half of the circle claimed vibratory frequencies interact with energy from the eternal wisdom of the universe and the other half said vibratory frequencies formed the eternal wisdom of the universe.
In an attempt to end the dispute and bring the conversation back to sacred space touch practice, I said, “We diminished our personhood when we argue like this.  Maybe both paths lead to an equal truth.”

“Rabbit has spoken wisely.” Xochiquetzal said. “Let him smoke the sacred pipe.” The Pipe Carrier, a blond hair Norwegian-type with a painted face and war bonnet made of imitation eagle feathers, filled a pipe and passed it to me. I took a puff of the pipe and immediately experienced a sense of oneness and enhanced relationship with the cosmos. Tragically, my balance with Mother Earth went to hell.

In fact, I tripped when I tried to stand up. Fortunately, Xochiquetzal grabbed my arm and led me out of the circle. “Rabbit,” She told me. “You need a sacred space touch practitioner to guide you through your connection to the great oneness.”  How right she was. PJH


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A Redneck Perspective: New Age Spirit Guide | Planet JH News Article: General Worm Hole

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