Stay out of the poppyfield

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

By Galloping Grandma

In the Midwest, where I grew up, there is a condition known as Tall Poppy Syndrome. It is a social disease and should anyone be so careless as to become famous, or distinguish themselves in any way, everyone else comes down with a bad case of the Green Inferiors and a sense of “who do they think they are?”
In other words, if you are a tall poppy standing above the field, someone is going to mow you down.

Corn Cob, Iowa had a couple of outbreaks of the syndrome recently. In one, Homer Hansen left this earth; he was one of those invisible people who grew up on the farm, went to country school, attended the Lutheran church every Sunday, never married because mom said, “All women were floozies and only wanted his money.”
Homer looked after the old bat until she croaked at 101, and by then, it was too late to have a life. He sold the farm and spent the rest of his days not doing much. One thing he did love, was to go to Donut World every afternoon for coffee and a chocolate donut. Sometimes, Valene the waitress, would give him a bag of leftover donuts to take home.

When Homer died, he requested that his funeral procession should pass through the drive-up window at Donut World and everyone could have coffee and a donut on him. It was amazing how many friends came out of the woodwork and showed up at his funeral for coffee and donuts.

When CNN came to take a picture, there was a serious outbreak of poppy fever. I mean, who did he think he was anyway? It got worse when they found out he left all his money to Valene, the waitress at Donut World because she had been kind to him, and she had even given the undertaker a bag of chocolate donuts to tuck into Homer’s coffin for the long trip. People were whacking poppies in every direction.
Someone wrote a nice book about a group of girls who had gone to Corn Cob High School and were still friends years later. Although the book was about women’s friendships, it blew a hole through town. People were mad because they weren’t in the book, or thought they should have been. I mean, who did they think they were, being in a book and all. They were even in The New York Times and Oprah, for heaven’s sakes. There is nothing worse than a bunch of women who can’t get over high school.

The outbreak finally died down, and they found something else to complain about. As for Homer, he went off to heaven with his bag of donuts. Just be careful when you stand up, if you’re waving above the poppy field, they’re going to get you every time. JHW


PERMALINK:
Stay out of the poppyfield | Planet JH News Article: Galloping Grandma

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