Bullies steal playground plan

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

By PJH Staff

Jackson Hole, Wyo.-A pack of bullies in ski masks stole the Jackson Hole Teton County Comprehensive Playground Plan Draft Proposal Rewrite on the playground Wednesday. They also stole playground planners’ peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milks in the process.

The bullies, who moved to Jackson a few years ago, will begin selling peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milks on the Jackson Hole Teton County Playground at six times the traditional price, in hopes that no one else will ever use their playground, one anonymous bully leader said. Police and working class playground users have no power against the bullies.

“The bullies have loud voices and lots of time to bully the playground planners, and I can’t do anything about it, even though I want to,” Sherriff Dan Destiny said. “They are wealthy bullies with sticks in their hoodies and rocks in their crocs.”
The wealthy bullies stole the plan late last week and have rewritten the entire plan so that no one else can ever play on their playground.

“This is my playground, and if you can’t pay $24 for a peanut butter sandwich, then you need to get the f%#k off of it,” one anonymous bully said. “If we had let the playground plan go through as it was written – with lots of $4 peanut butter sandwiches – then there would have been a really long line for the slide and there would have been too many people around for me to be the best bully I can be.” JHW

* This article is fictional and for entertainment only.


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