The magic eyeball

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

By Galloping Grandma

I’m not going into details, but sometime ago, I ripped the front bumper off my husband’s car. A few years ago, I ripped the door off of my car and I am an expert at backing into stuff. I am a repair man’s dream.

Now, I couldn’t believe how awful the bumper looked; after all, they are cheap plastic and fit together like Legos. I thought maybe I could fix it with a little super glue and duct tape but I couldn’t even lift the damn thing. As my husband’s fingers closed around my neck, he said (and he said a lot of things), “Get your eyes fixed.”
He had a point there. I have known for a long time that I couldn’t see very well and my vision was sort of like looking through linoleum, or something.

So, I went to the eye doctor, and learned that the lens in my eye was all cloudy and I couldn’t see much, which I knew. They poked, prodded and measured my eyeball. They did everything but take it out and roll it around like a ping pong ball. I would have to have surgery. I would be able to see again. I had already seen almost everything, but I would be able to see it again as if for the first time. It was magic.

To make a long story short, I was tied on to a table and something like a ball point pen was stuck in my eye, sound waves broke up the lens (heavy metal perhaps) and the remains were vacuumed out and a new a plastic lens was stuck in my eye.

It was over in a minute and a dose of happy juice kept me from feeling anything.
They were right, I could see! The trees had leaves. The dog had hair. It was a miracle. However, no good deed goes unpunished. I also saw things that I didn’t want to see. I can’t imagine where all the dirt in the house came from. When I looked in the mirror, who was that wrinkled old crone looking back at me? It sure as hell couldn’t be me. JHW
PERMALINK:
The magic eyeball | Planet JH News Article: Galloping Grandma

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